So you have just been snooping around possibly in your partner’s phone or laptop and discovered that your partner is a big fan of online chat dating. Now you are freaking out and the first thing that jumps into your mind is your partner having a good time somewhere else? Wait a minute, don’t overreact! Lets keep an open mind, there are many reasons for this and in fact, we will be looking at common reasons why your partner can be on dating sites. Let’s get started now, shall we?
Your partner is Curious
One of the reasons why a married man or woman may be using a dating site is for pure adventure. Think of this way, they may have heard of this new dating app or site that’s creating a buzz around town. Friends are hyping how the platform is so good and your partner doesn’t want to be left behind. So naturally, they would want to try out. This is especially the case of those people who love experimenting with new technologies and there is nothing wrong with that right? Except if it gets too serious and out of hand of course. Remember, someone once said that curiosity can kill a cat!
Your Partner is Flirt Chatting To Blow off Steam
There is always that debate around flirting: does it really count as cheating. It’s a grey area but frankly, sometimes people do online chats and dating just for fun. There is one interesting paper by John Portmann titled Chatting is Not Cheating, where he defends online chatting as mere flirting rather than engaging in a sexual affair. Some people consider cybersex to harbor a high degree of psychological reality—but many do not consider it to be morally real-in much the same way as offline affairs.
This is a debate for another day but truth be told, your partner may be using online dating as an escape route from issues in your marriage. Your partner may even be struggling to communicate with you so they shift to online chat platforms where he or she doesn’t have to come face to face with reality. This way they can avoid taking anything seriously and these platforms make it very easy to get into sexual conversations and things like sexual arousal, masturbation, orgasm, and satisfaction.
Long story short, your partner may be using online dating sites to release some energy but be warned. This is a slippery slope! While online dating sites may be harmless, things may grow serious over time. It would not be a surprise if the “harmless flirting” turns into a meeting for a drink followed by a little kiss then one thing leads to another and the rest, as they say, is history!
Your partner Might Be Suffering From “Online Dating Withdrawal Symptoms”
If you met your partner online then he or she may still be craving to go back to the pool particularly if your marriage has stalled for some reason. Chatting online is like porn-it can be addictive. You are used to logging into your favorite dating sides every few hours and replying to those juicy messages then all of a sudden you are in something serious. Usually, people find it hard to make the final break not to mention that they always feel they can go back to fishing online if things don’t work out in their current relationships.
Julie Spira on online dating expert, has some good advice for those who marry their online lovers. Don’t go back to your online dating profile, again!
Your Partner is Cheating
Now to the much dreaded reason – may be your partner is on online dating sites because he or she is cheating! Well, this will happen more often among men in marriages than among women. Scientists have some explanations for this and as you can guess sex is involved. Yes, sex seems to be the glue in many marriages and once it’s eliminated from the equation then problems start kicking in. It has even been found that sex helps in releasing a hormone known as oxytocin in the brain which sustains bonds between male and female partners. Some husbands may also have high levels of testosterone and these reasons may push them to seek relationships on online dating platforms.
Now, you know that one of the reasons mentioned may have pushed your partner into using online dating sites. The next step is to fight the fire or rather, trying to get to the root of the problem then handling the elephant in the room. Just keep in mind that all will not be fixed overnight but with some effort from both parties, things are bound to turn out right for you and your partner.